The Best Present Is Being Present for Your Children

Since the holiday season is arriving very soon, you may have several different thoughts running through your mind. This is natural for co-parents and recently divorced parents who are navigating the difficulties and challenges of sharing their children during the holidays.

Regardless of the questions and concerns that you may have or the tough and trying times that you are facing, it is important that you remember to be active and present with your children at all times, as these are some of the greatest memories that you will make together.

Examples of being present for your children

Now that you and your ex-spouse agreed to split holidays in your custody order, this means that you most likely do not get to see your children the entire day or at all on Christmas. Being present is one of the best presents that you can give your children this year. You and your ex-spouse are not the only ones being impacted by the divorce or the new holiday schedule. Therefore, when you do have your children, you should soak up every moment with them. Here are a few examples of how to be present for your children:

• Give them your full and undivided attention.
• Cook dinner and eat together.
• Ask them about their day, their school, their friends, and their everyday life.
• Play board games, play video games, tell stories, or read books together.
• Make jokes, dance together, act silly, and make each other laugh.
• Take them to the park, on a vacation, a sports event, the movies, an arcade, a museum, or somewhere that you know they would enjoy.
• Put down your phone, iPad, tablet, or any other electronic devices that take your focus away from your child.
• Build or create something artistic together.
• Do crafts or science experiments together.
• Have a movie night with their favorite snacks, blankets, and drinks.

As you can see, there are so many different ways that you can be present for your kids. Even something small can go a long way, and your children do tend to notice if you are making an effort to be active and involved in their lives.

Can you and your co-parent share the cost of a big gift this Christmas?

With Christmas quickly approaching, you may have asked or heard about big and expensive gifts that your child is hoping to receive this year. This may be a new computer or laptop, a game system, a brand-new television, a new drum set, and more. Divorce parents may find this to be challenging as they may not know who should get the big gift, whether or not they should share the cost with their ex-spouse, or if they both should get their child one for each house.

During this type of situation, it is suggested that you and your ex-spouse take the time to discuss and communicate about what the best route to handling this issue may be. Some co-parents think that this is a time to become competitive and try to win over their children’s love. However, this does not do much other than wipe out your savings account. The following are a few of recommendations on how to handle big gifts:

• Develop a spending limit with your ex-spouse and use that spending limit to cover the cost of the big gifts that your child wants.
• Consider including a section about gift-giving in your child custody/parenting plan agreement.
• If the other parent refuses to cooperate with you regarding the big gift, make a decision on whether it is important for your child to have the big gift at both homes or if you should allow your ex-spouse to just buy it themselves.

No matter how depressing it may be to see that your ex-spouse is buying the big gifts that your children asked for instead of including you in the purchases, there is not much that you can do to prevent this. Parents can buy their kids anything that they want to as long as the gifts are not dangerous, harming the child in any way, and are appropriate for their age. Most of the time co-parents will work together to ensure that they are meeting the wants of their children. However, you must prepare for the situation that your co-parent may be unwilling to work with you.

What can you do with your children if money is tight this year?

It is no secret that the holiday season is the most expensive part of the entire year. This is especially true for those who have more than one child or are recently divorced and paying child support and legal fees. If your money is tight this year, you should make the best out of this unfortunate reality and let your children know ahead of time that you are on a tight budget.

This may mean that they may be able to ask for a couple inexpensive gifts, you may be able to take them somewhere that they have wanted to go to instead of giving them a gift, or you can simply spend one-on-one time with them. Regardless of how old they are, every kid enjoys being the center of their parent’s attention. Therefore, you can come up with other activities to do to show your children how much you care and love them this holiday season.

How do you celebrate if you don’t get the kids for Christmas this year?

If you do not have your children for Christmas this year, you may be wondering how you can celebrate. This is a normal question, as many newly divorced parents are trying to figure out how to properly navigate this situation, put on a cheery face, and ensure that their children’s Christmas is still wonderful and magical. Some of the various ways that you can celebrate include:

• Select another day to hand out Christmas gifts: You can tell your kids that “Santa” came early and hand out your Christmas gifts before they leave for their other parent’s house. You can bake cookies, have Christmas dinner, and watch your favorite Christmas movies that day. Your children won’t mind and will be just as excited as if it were Christmas day.
• Create a new experience with your children: You can create your own traditions and new experiences with your children before they leave for the holidays. This may include going Christmas caroling, ice skating, or sending them on a scavenger hunt for gifts that you placed around your yard. No matter what you decide to do with your children, they will likely be impressed and love that you put in the effort to have fun with them before they leave.
• Take your kids on a vacation: Instead of buying gifts, you can take them on a trip somewhere warm for the holidays, or you can take a snowboarding trip somewhere snowy and cold. This is a fun idea to spend some time with your children before they go have Christmas with their other parent.
• Spend time with other people on Christmas: After your children leave for the holidays, it is important that you spend time with other people on Christmas. You should not be alone moping around. Instead, ask that new person that you are interested in on a date, visit your parents who live in another state, or simply have dinner with a neighbor or friend. Regardless of what you choose to do, you will be glad to have someone by your side to help you pass the time of missing your kids while they are away.

If you are a divorced parent who is having child custody problems, the San Antonio attorneys at Grable Grimshaw, PLLC may be able to help. We are more than happy to answer any of your questions and offer legal advice regarding your unique situation. Please fill out our contact form to speak with a team that always has your children’s best interests in mind.