5 Tips to Survive Divorce During the Holidays

Divorce can be hard any time of year, but the holidays can make it feel even harder. When everyone around you is celebrating, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and out of place. Between dealing with legal issues, managing family obligations, and dealing with your own emotions, this festive season can feel anything but joyful. With the right approach, however, you can get through this challenging time with confidence, and even find your own moments of peace and happiness.

Here are five important tips to help you survive your divorce during the holidays, while prioritizing your mental and emotional well-being.

1. Set realistic expectations

It can be tempting to try to make the holidays perfect, especially if you’re co-parenting or hosting family gatherings. But let’s get real – this holiday season will likely be different from what you’re used to, and that’s okay. Start by letting go of the pressure to maintain your old traditions exactly as they were. Instead, maybe focus on new ones that reflect your current situation. For example, if you’re not spending Christmas with your kids, plan a special celebration with them on a different day. Or, if hosting feels overwhelming, consider scaling down your plans or asking for help.

If you can accept that things won’t be the same, you can save yourself from unnecessary stress. It’s okay to say “no”to things that feel too demanding. Prioritize your mental health over keeping up appearances.

2. Create a holiday budget

Divorce can take a big toll on your finances, and the holidays come with extra expenses. Between gifts, travel, and family meals, it’s easy to overspend – especially if you’re trying to make the holidays special for your children or loved ones. Take a moment to sit down and create a realistic budget:

• Focus on meaningful gifts or activities rather than flashy or expensive items.
• Handmade gifts or quality time together can mean more than something store bought.
• Be up front with friends and family about what you can reasonably afford this year.

Sticking to a budget helps reduce financial stress and starting the new year with worries over money problems. Remember – the holidays are about connection and love, not how much you spend.

3. Communicate clearly and calmly

If you’re co-parenting, the holidays can bring different challenges. Coordinating child custody schedules, deciding where the kids will spend their time, and balancing new and old traditions can all lead to tension. The key to getting through this successfully is clear and respectful communication. Here are some ways to make it easier:

• Talk to your co-parent about holiday plans early. Agree on dates, times, and logistics to avoid last-minute confusion.
• Once you’ve agreed on a plan, honor it. Reliability helps reduce stress for everyone, especially children.
• Focus on what’s best for the children rather than letting personal grievances take over.

If direct communication is too difficult, consider using things like email, texting, or co-parenting apps to help keep the conversation professional and organize. The goal is to minimize conflict – not to “win” anything.

4. Take time for self-care

It’s easy to forget about taking care of yourself amidst holiday chaos. But neglecting your well-being can leave you feeling drained and unable to handle the season. Make self-care a priority:

• Carve out some time alone. Spend time journaling, meditating, or doing an activity you love.
• Even a short walk can help boost your mood and reduce stress.
• Go ahead and indulge in holiday treats, but don’t forget to nourish yourself with healthy meals too.
• Get enough sleep. Rest is essential for your emotional well-being.

And, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Talk to your therapist, join a support group, or lean on your close friends. It’s always okay to ask for help – it doesn’t make you weak; it makes you human.

5. Focus on what you can control

Divorce can come with a sense of loss, and the holidays can make these feelings worse. While it’s natural to grieve for your marriage and the way things were, try to shift your focus to what you can control rather than dwelling on what you can’t. Here are some ways to take back control:

• Choose to spend your energy on people and activities that bring you joy.
• Politely decline invitations or conversations that can be draining or uncomfortable.
• Take a moment each day to reflect on something you’re thankful for, even if it’s just something small.

Focusing on what you can do, rather than on what you’ve lost, can help you reclaim your sense of stability and purpose.

Above everything, remember that you’re only human. It’s okay to feel sad, frustrated, or even angry during the holidays. Divorce is a big life change, and it’s normal for your emotions to ebb and flow. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t feel festive or if things don’t go perfectly. Celebrate the small victories – like successfully co-parenting through a holiday weekend, sticking to your budget, or simply making it through the day. With a divorce, every step forward is progress.

If you’re going through a divorce during the holidays, you don’t have to deal with it alone. At Grable Grimshaw PLLC, our experienced San Antonio family law attorneys understand the challenges of managing legal proceedings and family obligations during this emotional time. We’re here to provide compassionate guidance and practical solutions tailored to your unique needs. Let us help you protect your rights, prioritize your family, and move forward with confidence. Please call our office or submit our contact form to schedule a case evaluation at our office in San Antonio today.